I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
