I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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