you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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