through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
