my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
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He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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