How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
