Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
