I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Randomize
