I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
