How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
