I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
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