I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
