i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
