dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
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