Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
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