can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
This is my gift to your gina
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
