he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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