i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
