Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
