YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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