Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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