i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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