she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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