no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
