you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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