roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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