that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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