I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
