Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
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I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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