is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
