is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
