totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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