I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
