when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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