There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I intend to get homeless drunk
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
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