i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I have post one night stand depression
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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