Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
