Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
