I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
