idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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