I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
