Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
