That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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