A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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