You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize