Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
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