It's like God shit irony all over that family
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
we're so committed to being not committed
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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