what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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