so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
organizing the empties. That sober.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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