Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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