Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
