Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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