I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
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So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
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We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.