Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (416): View more from Ontario

  dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross

  (647): View more from Ontario

  well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross (647): well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun http://tfl.nu/i4zj
  Replies (12) Good night (814) Bad night (3546)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (865): you can't get genital warts from dogs can you? http://tfl.nu/z1i1
  Replies (43) Good night (787) Bad night (14373)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (706): Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later http://tfl.nu/a02r
  Replies (26) Good night (7626) Bad night (1982)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record. http://tfl.nu/e6sm
  Replies (8) Good night (4779) Bad night (847)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT! http://tfl.nu/38ig
  Replies (26) Good night (4471) Bad night (1062)
• Favorite

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (763): Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg... http://tfl.nu/nasy
  Replies (44) Good night (2594) Bad night (6471)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20. http://tfl.nu/e9d3
  Replies (10) Good night (4057) Bad night (885)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (708): We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever. http://tfl.nu/e0m4
  Replies (16) Good night (4551) Bad night (854)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket. http://tfl.nu/1ame
  Replies (6) Good night (2028) Bad night (657)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie? http://tfl.nu/rubz
  Replies (3) Good night (1721) Bad night (534)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.

  (916): View more from California

  Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.

  (415): View more from California

  HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002. (916): Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening. (415): HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone. http://tfl.nu/fe9v
  Replies (15) Good night (1789) Bad night (681)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again. http://tfl.nu/xffh
  Replies (5) Good night (1219) Bad night (539)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (573): I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso. http://tfl.nu/7zvg
  Replies (2) Good night (756) Bad night (469)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  How's my date look?

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Like a retarded elf

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  In a good way

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): How's my date look? (814): Like a retarded elf (814): In a good way http://tfl.nu/jjcc
  Replies (6) Good night (702) Bad night (695)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (901): I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy. http://tfl.nu/blaa
  Replies (2) Good night (690) Bad night (253)

Randomize