I CAN MOONWALK!
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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