Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
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