i wish starbucks made bloody marys
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
You're like the curious george of whores
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.