I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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